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I was prepared for this.... or so I thought

I am writing this having not seen the edit that the company decided to do with captions (apparently) for Britains got more talent

I can only say the the truth..I fucked up...pure and simple...how, I`m going to say now

I had a couple of months prior to the programme decided that I needed an audition showreel as i was going to go out and play live again after a massive studio binge recording the album thats on iTunes right now, I had lost my company, I was and am flat broke and needed to get back out performing asap

I have always loved dont let the sun go down on me and I had downloaded a bunch of backing tracks to save me having to record them myself and then proceeded to record vocals on top of the backing tracks

Now this was my mistake...any one who knows about exporting files knows that you always make sure that you name them as something completely different to the original file so you dont get mixed up with whats what, like an assole i managed to export the file with my vocal mixed in down to "Dont let the sun go down on me, backing track 1" yes...thats right like a pratt I decided to just put a 1 in front of the file name

I went on to that programme doing an even worse error of judgement, I was late and didnt check the file I was burning to cd, so..what did i do...I burnt the file with the vocal on..the rest is (hopefully not) history

I have no defence of myself it was my mistake as i told Ant and Dec and everyone backstage..however...I feel I must defend myself anyway

I have worked encredibly hard and encredibly long, blood, sweat, tears, more rejection than most people can imagine, through drug addiction, alcoholism, a heart condition and death, and I`m damned if i`m going to lie down because of one fuck up on television, I've yet to see the edit but a friend told me they really went to town on me..which is fine, they have a programme to make, I think they should understand it can ruin peoples lives but as i said it was my bad.

Simon Cowell even thought it was George Michael`s vocal i was trying to use to cover my own insecurities as a vocalist when it was ME on the backing track in the 1st place..maybe he should listen more carefully.

I have nothing to proove so I will say no more..if anyone wants to do the usual "ha ha what a wanker" to me, then go ahead...after all you proove your worth just by your absence of mind and spirit to want to degrade someone who put themselves out there...

To my Friends who know me, esp to my family and to my Tara,....I will love you always and its you who really know me and whats its taken to have done what i did in the first place.

Here is a link...this is me singing the song live I hope for the last time!!) If this is still not enough..as i said I have nothing to proove

DONT LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Broken Britain

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So here's the thing!

I'm not exactly what you'd call the cleverest bull in the meat house, but recently I`ve been quite bitter about the state this country is getting itself into. Why? Well I might sound like a boring middle aged man, but I live in a so called quiet little village -  so called because recently these little fuckers with nothing better to do have been terrorizing the locals, pissed up on god knows what at a time when their parents who should know better have been letting 'em out at times when they should be in bed for school the next day.

I have already had a run in with a bunch of them because regardless of what the police seem to think, I'm fucked if I'm going to let 'em get away with it - a clout round the head is EXACTLY what they need.

In a country where you get taken to prison for defending yourself against intruders whilst your wife and kids are asleep upstairs, in a country where the IQ of the nation is going downhill fast due to the fact that the idiots running round the streets are offspring of the idiots who used to run around the streets, who the hell have they got as role models?

The worst of all is that this nation was built on farming, small cottage industry and integrity - we had young guys fighting in wars at the age of 18 and younger; and for what - so Gormless Gordon and his minions can tax us out of house 'n home, get rid of our hospitals, turf farmers off their land and kill their livelihoods so they go and kill themselves and generally ruin small business and cottage industry to make way for power, corruption and greed.

We are run by cowards who send troops into phony wars whilst they puff their fat cigars and drink their expensive ports in the safety of their big expensive houses - and for what...when it all comes down to it: more power and money.

If we stopped paying these ridiculous taxes, I mean the whole damn country just said NO...No to "Big Brother" watching over us, NO to the "Nanny State" that is turning us all into a nation of lazy P.C loving fools, NO to laws not allowing you to defend what's rightfully yours, and NO to these little pen pushing assoles who are assigned these jobs of power with absolutely no clue or experience in them, then maybe we might just win one! They can't send the whole country to jail after all.

If we took away their big fat paychecks and let them live like most of us, in fear each month from when the next pennies coming from, I bet they'd soon start to actually work for a living instead of acting like rich little playground children seeing who can get one up on the other.

The crap thing is, of course we could................ If the whole country rebelled and said NO, it would happen........But of course it won't, because things just don't work like that do they.

So we continue to go downhill as a nation. Just remember this: those kids who are running around pissed up causing all sorts of heartache, they are the new England. That's pretty frightening.

I know nothing about politics. But I know when I'm being cheated. If we all just said NO then maybe, just maybe, this country would be given back to the people who really make a difference to it, not those assoles in Westminster,

US!!!

Mixed Up

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So heres the deal.

I was in a car crash today, when this little old lady rear-ended me as I was waiting to turn.

The first thing I did - as any decent person would - was to check that she was OK, but as I got out of my car she started screaming obscenities at me like it was my fault, calling me a yob and f... this and c...t that, which I have to say shocked me a lot, as firstly, I have always been brought up to respect my elders and am probably one of the last of a rare breed of men my age and younger that believe in old fashioned good manners and values, I refer to anyone of a respectful age as Sir and always open doors and stand up when a lady enters the room.

I am finding though of late, especially in the area I live that the elder generation are ruder and more ignorant than the young people I meet, a classic example of this and a real pet hate for me is when you are in your car and you wait for someone to pull out or wait behind a parked car on the side of the road so the other person has the advantage...and you get not so much as a wave of thanks! That jerks my chain in a  way I cant even begin to tell you, and it's nearly always older folks that ignore your generosity!

But....on the other side of the coin, a couple of days ago as me and my partner, Tara, were coming home from the pub, we drove past this old guy trying to walk up a hill.  It was also 9 at night and it was freezing cold, he was out of breath and just standing there half way up obviously in distress.

So....I got out of the car and as he saw me approach I could sense he was worried so to put him at ease straight away I said " Sir, are you OK?"

His face lit up and I was able to help him to the car so me and Tara could take him where he wanted to go.

Turns out this poor old guy had a part time job working for an estate agent that had sent him down to Pulborough (in West Sussex) from London with a package to be delivered to an address he had no directions for and no telephone number to call and had been wandering around Pulborough for 4 hours!

Now tell me this......how many cars must have gone by him? How many pedestrians must have seen him?

We see this all the time...folks just ignoring people that are obviously in distress... Why?

So here's the thing...the point I`m getting at....people can be rude..old people can be obnoxious, and people can be real jerks in general....but do you have to be? Do we have to stoop to their level?

Hell no! Things are not always as they seem; turned out the old lady had taken the car from her son and was suffering from senile dementia the poor old thing, so now I want to see she`s OK, and the old fella who I stayed with until we got the package to the right place and then put him back on a train (with a pretty rude phone call to his employer telling him to get his ass to the old guy's home station and take him home or else I would be doing something about it)> He was an old war veteran of 81 and such an interesting guy to talk to..and grateful, even though it was me who was humbled by his presence.

...which reminds me of one other short thing, which politician fucking scumbag decides who gets what? This guy has fought wars to keep us out of shit and doesn't even have the pension to stop working, what kind of a fucked up government thinks that's OK, get these far arsed peaces of shit that run the country to take a pay cut and give it to these old guys instead, god knows they deserve it more!

anyway that's for another time, just be cool and stop if you think someone is in trouble, manners and kindness cost nothing!

 
The financial climate of the country, the over politically correct obsessed politicians have made a right hard life of it for your average gigging musician.

I remember 15 years ago, back in the good old days when pubs and clubs were a little smokey, you could walk into a country pub anywhere in England and some old guy would be sitting in the corner with a guitar or banjo and everyone would be joining in on a knees up, letting their hair down and generally trying to forget about the hard days work they just put in.

Open Mics were rife, clubs would help promote bands and bands would be helpful to other bands.

Today, due to the fact that 1000s of pubs are closing everyday, and the great old music clubs I remember deem new music too hard to promote, trying to find an audience is getting harder and harder.

I used to have three residencies, and every time I played it was to a packed house, and though I like to think it was because of me, the truth is - as any gigging musician knows - it is all about the atmosphere you as a performer AND the establishment your playing provide, as soon as the smoking ban came in and drink prices became too expensive for your average punter to afford,..well everyone stopped coming out and all three venues have actually now closed.

I try and keep in touch with an audience via the web and have a considerable fan base I manage via email and video, through different corners of the globe, and I hope to again get the chance to get to Germany and afar to play - if I can get financing to support a tour - either by myself or with the band (interested parties...get in touch!!)

I hope things improve, because every time I go and see a band play, all I see is a dodgy promoter at the door caring more about the money he retains than actually promoting anything, audiences of 10 people who have actually made an effort..all drinking water and an incredibly bored-looking band wondering why they were not helped in the weeks leading up to the gig by the promoter that booked them.

I have spent hours upon hours trying to persuade venues to let me start open mics, or band evenings to no avail, even talent nights..anything to create a buzz and get a night going, but the stark truth is, landlords,and venues are becoming too scared to try anything new..and this is a sad thing.

...so what do we do?

We keep plugging away and hope things pick up, we try and find people who will help us as musicians, because no matter how hard you work to get your music out there, you cant do everything after all.

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